As I made my way down the street I, my 4-Door wagon began to make weird noises. I turned on the hazard lights and pulled over. A gush of hot air rushed over my skin as I made my way to the hood. The hood was heavy. By the time I had it fully opened, I was Hot & Sweaty. I was so sweaty that my t-shirt became transparent like those at wet t-shirt contests. I wasnt the only one who noticed; a disgusting elderly man stared at my chest as he approached me.

I thought it might be clever to head the supermarkets to get myself a new shirt.

I saw tons of funny looking t-shirts but none of them were as valuable to me as the shirt I bought on my first gig. I decided to go and have fun in the mountains, riding a llama or whatsoever.

It was the time of Mardi Gras, and trying to keep your shirt on was a hopeless endeavour. Still, I came across a T-shirt stall - set back from the mountain path - with one particularly funny design for sale...

It was a picture of the Rocky Mountains and on the back it said "Witches show their teats too" So it would be a good one to wear while flashing away. It might sound strange, but hey....we're Americans.

We live life so dangerous it's repulsive.

One misstep at the zoo and our funeral could be near.

Seeing me in leg braces would make me the laughing stock of my neighborhood.

The neighbourhood had enough of my swift cheese smell. They thought it was disgusting. I used to be very fragile as a kid. And to this day I have a trauma of being a laughing stock of the neighbourhood. I decided to commit suicide..