I saw Dumbo the elephant who was reading a good book. "Hello" I said "What are you doing in my garden?" "Hm, actually I'm reading a book. A very interesting book. It is about brain surgeons. I can lend it to you if you want."

Well... it was weird to me, as it was a summer night... Still a NIGHT, so it was totally dark. How could he read then? Oh, how could AN ELEPHANT read anyway? I blinked and Dumbo disappeared. I must have been really tired. I came in and turned on the TV again. I saw Jerry Springer giving a hug to an attractive woman. Off. It was all so depressing. I felt that nobody loved me... I put on a light dress, definitely too light for the cold nocturnal air, and decided to go for a walk to the woods.

I was walking and admiring the nature when i noticed two bad pigeons which had declared a war on me few weeks ago. They started to spit up blood at me. "Agrh, stop!" i shouted. "it is not funny" "Oh, really? For me it was hilarious." said one pigeon and they flew away.

The sun started to rise up on the sky. I decided to have a sleepover in Washington, DC where I got by then. I found a cheap motel and asked for a small room. None of the rooms there were empty, so I asked for a shared room. "You're lucky that you made it snappy" the receptionist said. "The guy you're gonna sleep with is a morning person. He gets up at 5:30 and leaves for the whole day. He hasn't gone out yet, I think!"

I entered the room. It was dirty, with two small beds only. A scary man sat on the floor reading a book."Brain surgeons" - i looked at the cover. "Oh, i know you! You are Dumbo, arent you?" i shouted. He looked at me unconsciously. "I was waiting for you. You are late. It is not polite to be late." He looked as if he was angry. " Well, I have something for you." - he gave me toy poodles (a pink one and a blue one) - "I hope you are caring enough. They came here to rescue the world."

I didn't know it was his classic pick-up line. He laughed warmly and his face softened. He didn't seem so scary then. Slowly, he passed me one of the tacos he was eating. "Hey, don't be afraid" he said. "How long are you staying? We gotta be friends for the time". I didn't know how to answer but somehow I knew we really were going to be friends.

"Well, I'm the leader of Mensa High IQ Society.""You are an elephant!"i was shocked. "As i know it is not forbidden to become the leader of Mensa Society being an elephant. Don't ask stupid questions. So we in our society detected that Slobodan Milosevic, you know him?i'm sure you know him, wanna take control of the world.""And poodles?Why do we need them?" "They are here to cook some noodles""Noodles?" "He is alergic to noodles. It's the only way to do our mission."

He looked at me as if I was mentally ill. "My girl. I'm not an elephant." he said. I was like "Oh... okay". Then he showed me his pine cones collection. I was happy that he behaved normally. I also saw bagpipes near his bed and I asked him if he was Scottish. "Aye!" he answered.

"So tell me something about you" i was really interested who he is. "As you know i came from Scotland. My parents were farmers. It is a tradition in my family. We all are farmers." "Are you a farmer?" i was shocked. "Hmm, actually i used to be. But now i am planning to become a board games champion. I'm training all the time." he answered. "Do you want to play with me?"

I didn't. He held me lightly with his masculine hands. They were cool. I was warmed up by running upstairs. "I don't want to play with you, savvy?" I said and stepped back. "Okay. Sorry for asking" he said, looking at me like at a complete idiot.

"Ok, so noodles seem to be prepared already." he tried to change the topic. "it's time to start our hazardous mission. Uhh, Michael Jackson should be here by now. Lateness is a horrible thing, don't you think?" "Sorry for being late, but i had extreme problems." Michael just appeared. "Let's go to our plane. The pilot is waiting for us."

I looked at him as if he was tormenting me or telling me to eat spinach. I badly wanted to go home but the plan sounded so revolutionary. It was tempting. I decided to go for the adventure.

We were flying over the Pacific Ocean when we noticed Slobodan Milosevic. "Let's give him some noodles!" said Dumbo and poodles jumped out and attacked. Slobodan was very meek & mild. He ate salad with hidden noodles submissively and died instantly. Then me and Dumbo killed Fred & Wilma - Milosevic's associates. "Mission accomplished!" we shouted with happiness and sighed with relief.

We defeated the wicked farmers. It was nearly Christmas so we started singing "Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh...". When we got home Dumbo offered everybody mashed potatoes with sauce, which he considered the best of all dishes. We were elated to have done something important to the world.